The Surgeon

The surgeon is someone who I met back in my days on Match when I still lived in Bristol.  When I say met, I mean became acquinted with online, because in the end I didn’t end up meeting him.

We had arranged to meet on a Friday night. I was due to fly off abroad the next day. We were making our arrangements for the night over text. This is the conversation we had:

‘So what shall we do tomorrow evening then,’ the surgeon wrote.

I suggest The Cock Inn because it is the nicest pub closest to my house (at this point I am not aware that he is a cock).

‘Just for drinks? Shall we say 6pm ?’ he says.

My usual dating protocol consists of drinks on a first date because it can be a bit awkward eating with someone you’ve never met and you’re stuck in their company for much longer if they are not good company.

I have however broken this rule on a few occasions. As I was flying abroad the next day, I had no food in the house and so wanted no, needed to eat dinner out.

‘Let’s get some food too. I’m flying abroad tomorrow and so have no food in the house.’

‘I will already have eaten. ‘

‘What by 6?’

‘I am going for a bike ride in the afternoon. I will be very hungry after so I will eat dinner at 4.’

‘Ok. But I will have something to eat  because I have no food in the house.’

‘Fine, so how about you get there for 6pm and have something to eat and I will join you later at 7pm?’

Erm no. Howabout not. I don’t think you’ve understand the point of dating. The point is that we do something TOGETHER to get to know each other. Going out to eat on your own is not the usual dating procedure.

‘Well I don’t really want to eat on my own at that pub.’

‘Well you don’t want me there watching you eat, do you. ‘

‘I don’t mind actually. ‘

‘Ok so you’ve got two choices. Either we meet at 6pm and I Watch You Eat. Or you go earlier and eat at 6pm and I’ll join you at 7.’

‘What’s your problem about watching me eat?’

‘I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable with me watching you eat.’

‘Well as I’ve already said, I don’t mind. I just need to eat.’

‘ Why don’t you eat first and I’ll join you afterwards? Do you think you’ll be finished by 7?’

‘ I’m actually really busy with packing still, so shall we just leave just it for another time. ‘ Or never.

A few hours later I receive this text…..

‘I was really looking forward to our date, I spent all day looking forward to it:( And then you go and cancel it at the last minute which isn’t very nice.’

‘ Well to be honest, I don’t think you’ve got the hang of this wooing and sweeping a lady of her feet thing. Suggesting I eat on my own and you’ll join me later isn’t very nice either.’

He makes a few more attempts to arrange another date, but he’s had his chance and that ship has sailed.


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